


She Couldn't

by HoshisamaValmor (HannibalCatharsis)



Category: Mute (2018)
Genre: F/M, Friendship, Unrequited Crush, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-16
Updated: 2020-08-16
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:35:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,267
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25937521
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HannibalCatharsis/pseuds/HoshisamaValmor
Summary: Luba and Naadirah have a conversation about lousy tastes in men.
Relationships: Naadirah & Luba
Kudos: 6





	She Couldn't

"Someone looks happy." Luba smiled as he caught Naadirah's own smile on the mirror's reflection. She was rummaging around the house looking for her things and getting ready to go out while Luba finished his makeup and applied the long white eyelashes. She had a particularly dreamy expression on her face that could be due to several reasons, and the vague reply she gave him didn't really work to decipher it.

"Things are looking brighter."

"You've got more money?" he guessed, an intrigued frown as he shook the bottle of mascara. Naadirah grabbed her purse and approached the mirror for a quick and final hair styling.

"No, no, not yet. I just... well..."

"You've got a new heart-throb?" Luba asked half-jokingly but Naadirah's answer - just a widder smile that pushed a bit of color to her cheeks - made him stop and stare at her on the mirror. "Oh, you do."

"Well... yes," she confirmed with a slightly sheepish chuckle as she combed her hair with her fingers in a self-soothing way. She was looking particularly charming, with just enough makeup to enhance her natural beauty instead of fabricating it, and regular black clothes, not overly sexy like their work attires but still appealing and fitting her body. She had the night off, and it was now becoming clear how she was going to spend it.

He knew he should be happy for her, but the unenthusiastic _'hm'_ he gave did not go unnoticed and showed his acting skills were better at work than at home.

"Someone looks disappointed," she mimicked his words, making Luba scoff in a light hearted manner and make an effort in gathering himself.

"I'd be happier if I didn't know your lousy taste in men."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence," Naadirah scoffed too.

"Naadi, you know I love you, but your tastes leave a lot to be desired," he said with too much honesty but with a smile pulling at his lips for how Naadirah was laughing. Surely _he_ didn't need to be the one to point out Naadirah's track record, so he left that particular aspect be and started to pull his hair back, tucking it firmly to his head. "So, do I know this new loving bastard?"

"Want to give me your blessing?" Naadirah teased, quickly asking to use his eyeshadow for a retouch before Luba could go from pretending to be offended to actually committing to it. "I asked Maksim if he could work at the club. You'll meet him in no time."

Luba hummed again, sounding considerably more approving now. "He's a dancer?"

"No, he's... actually, he's very different from us."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Luba frowned again. Naadirah's vagueness wasn't really helping to leave him too keen on this new boyfriend (if he could ever feel keen to begin with) and he was starting to wonder if it was due to _him_ , Luba, given the... situation. Maybe she didn't want to get him overly involved, or involved at all, and while that was understandable, and arguably probably for the best in some ways, Luba couldn't pretend he liked it. He wanted to be a part of Naadirah's life as much as he could and as much as she'd let him be.

"He's amish," Naadirah's words pierced through his thoughts and worked twice as hard to make Luba's eyes widden and his eyebrows skyrocket on his forehead, earning a laugh from Naadirah. "Yeah, well, I said he's different."

"That's not ' _different'_ , that's a whole brand of-" Seriously, Naadirah had the _worst_ taste in men.

"He's really special, and kind and sweet. I feel incredibly lucky I met him."

"Now I'm curious what the hell an amish techtard will be doing at a strip club. Kinda off there already, don't you think?"

"I'm sure he'll manage."

A third _'hm'_ accompained Luba as he pushed the blond stylised wig to place. " _'Special, kind and sweet'_. Well, from that alone he at least sounds better than Bill, I'll give him that."

"Yes. He's nothing like Bill." Naadirah's face darkened so fast Luba wanted to punch himself immediately for even thinking about the son of a bitch. He had never liked the guy and his hideous obnoxious mustache. Bill might've disliked Luba because he might've sensed some form of 'competition', or because he saw that Luba actually cared for Naadirah and thought Bill was a pig - regardless, the feeling had been mutual and Luba was still forced to see him at the brothel more times than he'd like, taking Naadirah's kid there like it was no one's business but his own. "Well, I'm going. Bye, Luba."

"Wait. Come here," he stood up and turned to her, finally leaving the reflection they had been using instead of talking face to face and immediately starting to rearrange her hair.

"Luba, it was already good!"

"May I? I'll make you look _great_ , not just good," Truthfully, he didn't actually do anything different than what Naadirah had already done, but he chose a darker shade of lipstick to complete her look. Naadirah stood still while he carefully painted her lips. "You know, I talk a lot but I only tell the truth. Well, except when I lie. But-" he quickly corrected himself, making Naadirah chuckle and roll her eyes. Luba gave her a playful shove on her arm as if offended, "- _but_ , I was gonna say you look great, and that lovely bastard, whoever he is, is a lucky bastard."

"I'll let you tell him that yourself when you meet him, how's that?" Naadirah teased again, earning another shove that made her chuckle. Luba took the proximity as an unnecessary excuse to touch her hair again, taming a wild blue curl back to place and fondling her hair softly, almost as carefully as he had painted her lips before. Naadirah leaned to the touch slightly and smiled at him.

"You're so beautiful."

"Thanks, Luba," she replied ironically, but he wasn't teasing, that wasn't his intention at all.

"You know I don't lie to you, Naadirah."

"I know. Luba, I really have to go now, I'll be late."

"You know I love you, don't you?"

There was no change of expression in her eyes, no pity or annoyance or sadness, which felt as much of a relief as it did the worst kind of pain he had ever felt, a breath of fresh air while it mercilessly crushed his throat at the same time. Naadirah smiled again, raising her hand to his, still on her hair, not to remove it but to hold it gently. Then she hugged him tight, and for a second Luba didn't know how to return it, didn't know if he was relieved or aching.

"I know." She kissed him on the cheek, quickly and carefully drying whatever mark she might have left on his make-up and looking slightly guilty for it, while Luba couldn't care less about it. "I love you too. But I have a lousy taste in men, remember?"

She said it with a smile, again, almost like she was the one at fault, like she was the one that had something wrong, like she was the one that couldn't. As if he couldn't be part of that group of lousy men while he actually felt worse than any of them.

This new guy was really a lucky bastard. Luba hated him already. If he really did turn out to be someone who truly loved her... no, he wouldn't, not more than Luba did.

The problem wasn't her. He just wished she could see that.

She couldn't.

the end

**Author's Note:**

> The aesthetics of this movie are really great and I loved these two characters the moment I saw them. Wish I could draw something for them, so this is the next best thing.
> 
> One of the most fascinating things happened while finishing to type/edit this though: I listened to the unreleased Linkin Park song [ 'She Couldn't' ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OplU67FMw5U) for the first time. While similar situations have happened to me before, I have no words for how this one made me feel. I've been having such a hard time lately, I've barely been able to sleep let alone write or have some artistic release at all, and then when I'm finally at least trying to get this simple thing out, Chester and Mike and LP come and it's just perfect. I obviously named the fic after the song.
> 
> Thank you for reading.


End file.
